Plain EngRish #16 : Hilarious Hotel Regulations

Plain EngRish this week takes a look at a couple of the more amusing hotel regulations I’ve come across on my travels.  Gear up for some laughs kids – there’s a lot of EngRish gold coming your way!

First up, we have the ‘Helpful’ from the Sam Pov Pram Guest House – a lovely little guest house in Kampot, Cambodia (see below for a description if you’re having trouble reading the ‘helpful’).

"Do not hesitate in your mind"... Priceless.

Highlights of the Sam Pov Pram ‘Helpful’ include;
– Please ask us at receipt, if we can help ,do not hesitate in your mind
-Check out time 12:00Am O’clock

I love a helpful guest house ‘helpful’.

Now, the next slice of EngRish I have for you is from Luang Prabang, Laos… My friends and I cried with laughter for a solid 10 minutes after finding this set of rules in our room (again, see the text below if you have trouble reading the photo).

There is nothing I don't love about this sign

What a seriously specific set of rules that is!! Highlights include;

4. Do not bring any illegal things come into hotels, guesthouses and resorts, if is not allow include ammunitions, except the official who have the permission only.
5. Do not bring any drugs, crambling or bring both women and men which is not your own husband of wife into the room for making love.
6. Do not allow domestic and international tourist bring prostate and others into your accommodation to make sex movies in our room, it is restriction.
11. If you do not follow this accommodation regulation you will be fight based on Lao PDR law.

Ok, now let’s just consider the individual rules here for a second…
Point 4: Makes no sense whatsoever
Point 5: ‘Crambling’!? No ‘making love’ with a non-spouse!? Oh, my sides!!!
Point 6 (this one is by far my favourite): So you’re not allowed to bring a prostate into the room – particularly if it’s to make a sex movie… it is, after all, restriction.
Point 11: You will be fight based.


Have some Plain EngRish to share?  Send it along to for all to enjoy!

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8 responses to “Plain EngRish #16 : Hilarious Hotel Regulations

  1. More Engrish gold Amy, this just might be the highlight of my week!

  2. hahah if i can’t make sex movies in a room then i want no part of said room.

  3. Engrish is one of the highlights of travel for me, thanks for making me laugh. 🙂

  4. I am in love with hilarious signs like these… one of my favorites is one I found in Vietnam, that advises us not to leave stranges corps in the toilet:

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