Plain EngRish #14 : Rules, rules rules

Today in Plain EngRish #14, we learn that Asia, like anywhere else in the world has rules.  It’s just that in Asia, rules often come in the form of EngRish.  These, as you may have guessed, are my favourite kind of rules.

To ensure you stay on the right side of the law on your Asian adventures, be sure to adhere to the following rules… even if no one else does.

The first rule for today was kindly donated by Mike (via Soju Aidan) and was found in  South Korea (for a great account of expat-life in Korea, check out Mike’s site; Durkee in Korea.)
Having lived in So.Ko. for a while, I kind of understand why someone felt the need to make such a sign (seriously, what’s with all the vomiting there?). But a rule sign that is both functional AND funny, well, that’s a 10/10 in my book;

Lucky this rule was clarified... I may have got it the wrong way around.

I like that there are stick figures demonstrating these actions too – just in case the message wasn’t clear enough.

The next rule was found in a train carriage on the Qinghai-Tibet railway in China;

Please do not smoke, throws the reject, to spit everywhere!

Funny – everyone on the train was doing exactly that; smoking, throwing the reject out the window and spitting everywhere! Great sign though…

If you want to stay out of trouble in Kathmandu, Nepal, be sure to follow this important rule;

'Don't Litre'... yeah...um, that's a liquid measurement.

Litter away, just don’t ‘litre’… you can probably pint too if you like – but maybe check with someone before you do.

In neighbouring India, rules like this one found in Bangalore are actually observed by hundreds of men… as in the letters painted on the wall are looked at by the men who are peeing on said wall – not observed as in adhered to.

"DO NOT URINE HERE" ... only in India.

Ahhh, India…

Finally, the only one of these rules I didn’t see being broken (well, to be honest, I didn’t see anyone ‘litre’ in Nepal either)… yet this is probably the rule I would’ve most liked to have seen broken.  I came across this, the mother of all confusing rules, in a not-so-convenient convenience store in Osaka, Japan;

Them's some complicated toilet instructions...

“For using our Toilet.
Before using the Toilet Please give the hall staff notice.
There is a Posibility that a lot of our Customers using this Toilet.  Please don’  t make a disaster inside.
It Can Cause a fire,inside the toilet is No smoking and No fireworks.  If we see eather of it,we have no choice to call the Police.

To defend our Customers from danger, If there is no call back or action, even long time posting for using the toilet ,there is a possibility to open the lock from outside.
Thank you for reading.     by the store manager”

No, thank you for writing! I promise to loudly inform your hall staff notice of my bladder movements and will do my best not to use fireworks or make any kind of disaster inside…  I’d be really embarrassed if you opened the door from the outside after I posted for long time using the toilet, so I’ll be sure to make a call back or an action.  Thank god you left such detailed instructions!

Until next week Roadies…

If you gots the EngRish to share, sends it to me at amy.theseroads@gmail.com

Older Plain EngRish posts

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3 responses to “Plain EngRish #14 : Rules, rules rules

  1. hehehehe….. loved them all , but as usual you left the best for last!!

  2. hahahahahaha!!!! omgosh you must be a great travelling partner!!! loved you take on these signs. how funny they are. i shall be sure to remember the loo instructions when i visit China. i appreciated the eating/vomiting one! perhaps they should hang a few of those around in the London bus-shelters!!! and pubs!

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