So, my brother-in-law gave me a present today – a little somethin’-somethin’ he picked up at a news agency in Jindabyne, NSW… Something incredibly Craptastic.
Yes, as any good brother-in-law would do, he gave me CAMEL BALLS BUBBLE GUM!!!
What the hell? Camel Balls? How wrong is that?!
Evidently, in my book, it’s so wrong it’s actually brilliant… so brilliant that it runs dangerously close to taking the ‘Crap’ out of Craptastic (in which case you’d probably just replace it with the original ‘Fan’ part of the word… otherwise you’d just be left with ‘tastic’… which I guess still kind of works, but sounds a little weird).
Um yeah, the name ‘Camel Balls’ appears to have been taken quite literally here. Check out those giant er, camel balls! How do they get away with putting this in the confectionary section in plain view of little children? Can you imagine being a bystander as a little kid threw a tantrum because his mum wouldn’t buy him Camel Balls? Ahhh, I actually kind of want to see that now.
Moving along, let’s consider the text on the packaging shall we? To the left of the camel we have “Liquid Filled” and to the right, “Extra Sour”.
Is this intentionally as dodgy as it sounds? Judging from the revealing back-end picture of the camel, I’m thinking absolutely it is.
Intended dodginess aside, the implication that the packet contains multiple balls is quite misleading; there is only one Camel Ball per packet (unless they are also sold in multi-packs of which I am unaware). The fact there is only one ball is immediately recognisable the second you hold the packet, (and perhaps this is the creators ingenious marketing ploy to make you buy two) but still, I feel it would enhance the experience if they were sold as a pair.
The fun with Camel Balls doesn’t stop with the packaging either. Check out the ball (singular) inside;
Now, I’m no camel ball expert (my knowledge of the topic comes solely from a day spent on a boy camel named Joanie in India), but this sure looks like someone has gone to great lengths to make this Camel Balls bubble gum somewhat representative of the real thing. A blue gum ball just wouldn’t have the same effect now, would it?
But wait, there’s more… if we bite into the Camel Ball, we see that the “Liquid Filled” wrapper text rings (unfortunately) true;
I’m not sure the liquid centre is entirely necessary, yet, at the same time, it certainly earns the creators of Camel Balls points for creativity and flare (or something). However, as I’m sure anyone else who has eaten Camel Balls (the gum! I’m talking about the gum!) will attest to, the “Extra Sour” claims are unfortunately a little overstated – I didn’t even detect a hint of sour let alone ‘extra’ helpings of it. In fact, after about 3 chews, I failed to taste even a hint of flavour in general… another 3 chews and the gum was so hard it was not dissimilar to chewing on an eraser. I’m not sure if this is a feature designed to bear any similarity to the real thing, nor am I about to find out – I’ll leave that to the likes of Andrew Zimmern while I stick to eating my craptastic crime-inducing Ned Kelly Outlaw Mints thanks.
Has anyone else sampled Camel Balls Bubble Gum or found anything similar? Let us know in the comments section below.