Plain EngRish #10 : Makeover

 

This week in Plain EngRish we will see that not only can EngRish make us laugh, it can also make us beautiful! Get those pens ready to take notes people. It’s time to beautify! 

Step 1: As my mate James found out in South Korea, to get yourself looking your very best you first need to ‘RYN’

Step 1: Renovate Your (body) Newly.

 

Don't be fooled by the stacked-shoe appearance... this Baby Spice-wannabe shoe will renovate your body. Newly.

 

RYN? Yes, RYN: ‘Renovate Your Body Newly’. Not RYBN as you might have thought – that would just make sense (except for the fact that the words represented in the acronym don’t really make sense, but whatever… non-sense is the only kind of sense when it comes to EngRish, right?).
  

So what does one do to renovate one’s body newly? Hit the gym? Go under the knife? Nup, you just need to slip on a pair of RYN shoes in order to RYN.
 

Step 2: Now that the body renovation has begun (newly), let’s focus on making those legs beautiful.  As in Step 1, there is no need for gyms or surgery in achieving this goal. Once again, a simple yet innovative piece of footwear is here to assist us in our endeavours to pretty up our pins.  This time, the answer comes from Japan. 

Step 2: Pa, Gyu Gyu and Piin your legs to stretch & refresh, shape-up and healthy them!

 

A few of my Korean co-workers had these (yes, we got to wear slippers at work) and they are remarkably uncomfortable, which must mean they’re good – beauty is pain, after all.  Pop these on after a day in your RYN’s (which appear to be equally as uncomfortable) then follow the final 2 steps.  You’re on your way to wonderful! 

Step 3: Now this is an important one, so follow carefully.  In order to make yourself beautiful there’s a vital distinction you need to be able to make.  The soft thing that covers your body, that’s skin.  This, is not; 

Step 3: Skin vs Shop - Know the difference.

 

No, it’s not skin, it’s a shop, but good try.
Now that you know the difference, your makeover will be a much more successful one. 

Step 4: With this all important distinction having been made, you should find this next step a lot easier to follow (that is, you are now familiar with the general area you’ll need to keep an eye on. See skin discussed in Step 3). 

Having successfully identified skin, we now must keep it clear and smooth. 

Step 4: Abracadabra, pimples be gone!

 

‘Great advice… but how?’ I hear you ask?
Well, as this photo (captured by my sensei, Simon in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) so clearly shows, all you have to do for spot-free skin is cast magic spells in old-style language to rid yourself of blemishes… it’s Malaysia’s best-kept secret. 

Now go and incorporate these 4 easy-to-follow steps into your daily routine to complete your Total EngRish Makeover! It’s as easy as that.
Who would’ve thought EngRish could be so helpful? 

Many thanks to James and Simon for sharing their EngRish this week! Well spotted, fellas! 

Have you captured any great EngRish that you’d like to share? If so, shoot your photos along to amy.theseroads@hotmail.com with a bit of information on where you found your EngRish, plus a link to your site (if you have one) so I can link back to your good self. 

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2 responses to “Plain EngRish #10 : Makeover

  1. Haha love it! Those slippers do look uncomfortable… like your foot is falling off the back. But if it will healthy my legs who am I to judge 😉

    It’s skin is not the most appealing name for a shop. It makes me think of Hannibal Lector for some reason.

    • They do fall of the back! So awkward to walk in (which I think is the point, but still…). My coworker had a pair that were covered in those little hard plastic lumps – just for some added discomfort. She claimed the bumpy bits ‘massage’ your foot. To me they just hurt.

      It’s Skin – it’s a bit like the Body Shop (also an odd name when you think about it). Hannibal would love both, I’m sure!

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